For me, it’s pure ecstasy. Inhaling the rich smells of Mother Earth. Admiring all the bountiful plant life, insects and animals. I couldn’t imagine “wasting time” anywhere else.
Growing up, we always were in the woodlands. Whether it be family camping trips to Indiana state parks or stopping off at the local nature preserve to just escape the busy world; I learned at a young age that the earth is a wonderful resource. I remember some of my fondest childhood memories were being educated on how to live off the environment but never leaving a footprint.
Being involved in Girl Scouts and 4-H were still some of the best years of my life. I found myself deeply submerged in education about the ecological system naturally emplaced. I was fortunate enough to partake in many of trips with the local Boy Scout troops roughing it. Survival skills were ingrained in me which have stuck with me into my adult years.
Now as a parent, I’ve indulged my son into the wonders of the earth. It’s important for me to share and hopefully teach him some of the best skills I know. We recently purchased a guide to outdoors which shows animal prints and facts, birds, flowers, trees and more. He’s more than intrigued to go on an adventure. And so am I.
I will never forget that frigid night that we got the call.
He fell.
The sheer scream of terror and sadness was all I heard in the other room. My mom came rushing into my brothers dim lit room where I was waiting out the blizzard like weather.
He was at the basketball court. And. He fell. He’s. Not. Responding.
She tearfully ran down the stairs, grabbed her belongs and announced she was going to the hospital to be with his wife. We waited what seemed like an eternity before they called again with an update.
He’s stable. On oxygen. In a coma like state.
The next morning I went to work. My phone was constantly buzzing with text and calls. The final text.
Hurry to the hospital when you get out. Not good.
I drove like a mad woman to the ICU at the local hospital. The moment I turned to the corridor that held the patients my aunt was doubled over profusely sobbing.
He was gone. Not one person in the family got to be with him when he passed.
The next few days, weeks, months that followed were a whirlwind. How do you prepare for loosing a family member, uncle and life long friend in such a difficult unimaginable sudden way. You just don’t. It felt surreal. But the pain of loosing family was only just beginning.
Summer
A few short months after he passed, my grandma was taken into ICU. She had been already in deteriorating health but had started to take a toll for the worse. She was hospitalized and could have limited visitors due to her health condition. Up until then, she had long dealt with signs of dementia and could barely recognize her children and grandchildren. You just never knew what day you caught her on.
When her health began improving, she was moved back to the nursing home. Her physicians advised our family to place her into Hospice care. It was hard to see her in pain and suffering but we knew her wishes. She never wanted to have artificial life. As morbid as it sounds she always said when the good lord wants to take her; let her go.
The first week of hospice care was her birthday. She was in such wonderful spririts. Ate cake and knew who her family was. Her children and grandchildren were able to see her as close to as we all remembered her-spunky, outspoken and fun loving. We knew that she was finally at peace and ready. A few short days later she passed restfully in her sleep.
Although we were able to prepare for her passing, the thought of death was still absolutely heartbreaking. I sat with her in her nursing home bedroom alone holding her hand before the coroner came.
She looked like an angel.
Even though I wanted to cry, I couldn’t. I sat there trying to fathom why God would take so many people we loved all within a short time. I wasn’t angry. Just extremely confused.
September 6th. Happy birthday.
My grandma and uncle always shared a special bond. They shared the same birthday. A year after their passing we still remember them fondly. This humid summer day was spent together as a family. So much has changed and continues to change. We all have learned that life is such a precious gift. Tomorrow is never garanteed. Don’t loose out on moment with your loved ones. Always have a big heart and show kindness just like uncle Tal and Grandma Rose would. I know they are always here. Love stays ingrained into your soul.
Extremely excited for this new job opportunity. Can’t you tell? 😝
In a week, I start training for my new job. Very thankful to leap into a new portion of my life head first and gain new experiences. To reference my man Einstein…
Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.
I’ve kinda being living in a perpetual rut. Changing minor details and hoping for the best. The time has come to be a bit more proactive, face my fears and bridge into larger changes. My comfort zone has become my insanity. I’m happy to recognize my strengths and know I’m capable of so much more. Time to move on and move mountains. 🗻😁
Strawberry Fields Forever 